With only the best kid ever.
Very rarely do our stories get represented the way we want and in our voice. I was lucky enough to have mine wonderfully edited and pieced together in this short but sweet segment. I love talking about pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum, and parenting. Every part of me is ignited when I get to talk about what I see as opportunity and beginnings. Take a listen, tell me what you think.
Special thanks to the Cueva sisters, Maya who interviewed me and Olivia who connected us.
Siempre,
Elizabeth
I have some news for you all! Excited to share and work with expecting folks in the following ways this Spring and Summer.
Artist Unknown
Black and Latched: A Lactation Care&Support Group for Black Mothers*
Breastfeeding is so much more than feeding a baby. Societal and cultural norms and expectations may make nursing your baby even more of a challenge. The good thing is, you don’t have to do it alone! Black and Latched aims to create a space where black/afro identifying nursing mothers/parents can bring their babies, share stories and exchange wisdom and information all the while being led by Elizabeth Pérez, a Lactation Support Provider and experienced nursing mother.
This bi weekly meet up aims to raise awareness and increase the rates of initiation and duration among black nursing mothers. It is open to parents of newborns, older babies and even 4 year old nurslings! Black and Latched also welcomes pregnant moms interested in learning more about breastfeeding and hearing firsthand from nursing parents.
*We use the term parents interchangeably with mothers to be inclusive of how one identifies during this time as well as an open space for queer and trans families.
Prenatal Yoga 6-week Series at Namastuy Healing Collective in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn
Namastuy brings you a 6-week prenatal yoga series for expecting moms looking to create community and cultivate a gentle movement based practice. Each class utilizes yoga asanas, breath work and meditation, and group discussion to foster confidence and a body intelligence to guide you through this wondrous journey.
Class is open to expecting parents at any stage of pregnancy. Please note, no previous yoga experience is required. We meet you where you are. Join us!
Photo from Lorna Simpson's Stereo Styles, 1988
It lives with me in ways I did not think possible. The three days leading up to the birth of my son were the worst days of my life. Even writing that makes me feel numb. For those of us that experience anxiety and haven't necessarily found ways or ears to work through these moments, it feels as if our own hands are pushing us over the edge. The uncontrollable worrying and incessant pressure (sometimes we do not even know the source) lays with us at night and shadows us throughout the day. It's paralyzing and crippling and almost every new mother I know, shares this ache with me.
You predict the myriad of ways the bookshelf will topple over and surely crush you and your child while you walk across the room or how thinking about your maiden life guilts you into wondering perhaps you weren't ready after all. But then you quickly shush the flashbacks and remember that this is what you wanted and this is where you want to be. You fell in beautiful, sweet, sweet love and now that love is what's pushing you both to become more for each other and the little guy.
I wonder, how much of this is hormonal? How much of this is raising a baby without a village? How much of this is a "rite of passage" of sorts so that you really don't fuck up your child's life? How much of this is actually ours and how much of this is society's?
Becoming a mom has multiplied me beautifully, tenfold. But becoming a mom has also made me reckon with parts of myself I never thought I'd welcome or develop. And in some ways, I'm loving it. I remember how much I cried during the early days of my son's arrival. The tears washed me and came from different sources and what I most remember was how overall, they made me feel alive. I was SO incredibly human. Nothing I have ever experienced before made me see what exactly I was made of. I grew him within me and now sustained him through me. It really is too much.
Fear and guilt ride close and are like evil twin sisters sitting across each shoulder. Thankfully, I've got tons of mirrors throughout my home to let me see how I am my own inspiration and that this, is just part of the territory, not necessarily the path.
Yes, instagram is saturated and overwhelming but we are all on it. Probably more than we'd like to admit. What I'll admit is my weird relationship to "mommy blogging." I want to talk motherhood and show the world my sweet son but it's very difficult for me to post pictures of him. I find it a bit invasive at times and wonder how will this affect him (and our family) in the long run, if at all. Motherhood and social media is something I think about often. How do these words collide and how are they influencing each other? What expectations do new moms have of themselves when they see other moms on the 'gram? Are there legit dangerous implications to the postpartum psyche? Hmm. I'll keep thinking about this and maybe expand further in a post as my thoughts develop. For now, I do want to share some moms I find charming, funny, helpful, resourceful and just straight up #momgoals.
#Clique | New Vlog now in my bio ❤️ #Vlogmas
A post shared by ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀Charmaine Daudu💋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (@charmsie) on
Meet Charmaine Daudu aka @charmise. She's one of the first mommies I started following, simply because her level of creativity and authenticity is sky high. I love her style DIYs and #charmisechat Instagram stories where she talks about staying true to yourself (clique but we all need to hear it once in a while!) and being a mom to her sweet son Zende. What I love most however, is how she does not take herself so seriously and is super funny! One minute she'll post a picture all diva'd up and the next she'll bare her skin: no make up and in pjs.
A post shared by Becky || Los Angeles (@goodfortheswole) on
I found Becky aka @goodfortheswole when I was pregnant with boy wonder and needed some inspo workouts that were safe and effective. Immediately, I dug her approach and commitment. Her videos were super helpful (even if I didn't always do them, they were fun to watch!) and I love her food suggestions, too. I'm always surprised at how she manages to keep her blogging up with a toddler as well as working out while pregnant again. She just had baby #2 and I'm excited to see how she juggles two babies, food prep and working out this time around.
A post shared by a d r i e n n e (@dogwoodmoon) on
What's there not to love about Adrienne aka @dogwoodmoon? Her images and words are exquisite. She appeals to my 16 yr old poetry writing self with my 28 yr old mom searching for self at the same time. There is a quiet assurance in her words. I love going to her page to read her reminders. Seriously, go read her words and see through her eyes.
A post shared by Jordyn & Kennedy (@thetravelingchild) on
And then there's Monet Hambrick aka @thetravelingchild, not only mothering two beautiful black babies but taking them all around the world. There's this ridiculous stereotype that black folk do not travel and that once you have kids, traveling is almost non existent. Not for this family - they demystify both of these claims. They do it often and beautifully. Monet often shares tips and giveaways to encourage families to see the globe with their littles. Boy wonder has already taken flights to Hawaii and different parts of California and I used Monet's tips to ease my nerves along the way.
If there is a word that comes to mind when I think of Lindsey Bliss aka @doulabliss, it's strength. It's no sueprise why she has this tattooed on her belly: she birthed 7 babies. Twins twice. Yes, you read that correctly. Not only is she mothering in Brooklyn, she's a loved doula and co-owns Carriage House Birth. I love her #grittyparenting posts because they show the truth 'instagram mommying' hides. On top of that, she wrote a book (!!!!) - The Doulas Guide for Empowering your Birth, and it comes out in a few days! What magic you ask? Bliss magic.
Who are some 'instagram moms' you love and follow? Do you have complicated feelings like me? Tell me, let's talk :).
Us.
Boy wonder is One today. Like most parents, I can't believe where time has gone and went. Yet at the same time I do. Time has lapsed between nursing sessions and little sleep intervals. It's found itself in checking off milestones and wishing teething bouts away. Time hid from me when I wondered where I, the individual, went. Time guided the growing and humbling required to parent and assume such role. Forever will I be in a state of shock that my heart expanded in such a way I could never put into accurate words.
Some things I love about this journey and my son so far:
It's been one whole year of all these things and more. I'm in it and this really is just a glimpse. I'm excited and nervous. but I'm also patient and trusting that all is well and will be what it's supposed to be.
Happy b'earthday son! Happy unearthing to my postpartum bod. Happy anniversary to my breastfeeding boobs. So many things to celebrate and acknowledge. Thankful beyond measure for the opportunity to experience and witness this part of life.
Thank you to all our friends and family that made celebration day such a wonderful experience for us. See you at the next jam!
It feels a little different this time. Perhaps it’s because I have a kid and if there is anything I want him to know and take with him is that if there is something that tugs at his heart, he does it fully and repeatedly. Words come to me easy but the part of doing it (you know, writing, etc.) all the time doesn’t. Its sort of like pending talent. Or perhaps un-blossomed. Inward still. I’d like it to be constant now. At the very least something I partake in frequently. I'd like for it to remind me of who I was then and who I am becoming now. Mommy brain means having all sorts of pieces trying to find their corner and rightful spot. Paintings waiting to be rendered and mastered. Its a slow process, this becoming part. We are almost at year. I still can’t believe it, really. What my body has done and endured. How my heart has expanded and how all these feelings (so many feelings) have shown me what a range I have.
Boy wonder is everything and my beloved is just as amazed and tired as I am. To become someone’s parent means to remember your own mission while guiding someone onto theirs. It’s really fucking hard. Balance? More like a schedule. Create a routine to remind you of your dreams and of course, obligations. No one has the answer. But so many have opinions. Facebook mom groups are the worst and best thing. Instagram will make you feel like you’re never going to snap back. And it’s still so weird to show the world your life on line, but we do it anyway because mothering alone is criminal. So, this writing thing here is a way for me to share what I am learning along the way.
So here I am, committing to writing and doing this blog thing. If you see me, remind me.